You Have The Right To Remain Silent, So Please Shut Up.

I was damn bored that day. So I figured I’d watch some tv. Sometimes tv sucks because 1) all tamil channels play stupid serials non-stop 2) axn airs the same episodes of every show I watch over and over again 3) if it is not some previous episode then it is the season finale (it makes me sad so I don’t watch) 4) even news sucks. Everybody is getting killed or will be killed or is threatening to kill or the channels are making a drama of the lives of people already killed. Tv sucks these days. But I had nothing better to do so…….There was this program in vijay tv at around 10 called “neeya nana” that day. It seemed to be some kind of debate program, so I decided to watch it. At school there was always some debate on some stupid topic or the other and I miss them. Anyways the topic for that program that day was something to do with marriage and what young guys and girls expected from their future spouses. On one side there were guys all dressed in traditional silk shirt and silk whatever (Yuk) and on the other were girls (am stretching truth to breaking point cos only one girl was below 20) all dressed in silk saris (most of them anyway). The proper age for marriage for guys, according to girls, was 24-35. The guys chose 21-29 for a girl. All that was very fine compared to the crap (according to me anyways) that came next.

Next came the session on what kind of conditions/ demands they had for their future prospective spouses. Mostly the conditions were reasonable and really well thought. The guys wanted the bride to respect his parents, maintain a good family, and be open to adjustments and all. All the guys wanted educated girls with good pay packets and no one from BPO/ call centers. And there was this guy who didn’t want a girl who had gone to college. He wanted someone who had finished school and that was all. He was 35 and still not married (with conditions like that I am not surprised). Really weird demands people have got. Then it was the girls chance. Here the girls really had fun. Overall the conditions were reasonable like no dowry; respect for parents and not giving up their jobs after marriage. Every girl wanted a guy who would accept them as they were: both wheat and chaff. The guys were not that explicit on demands but not the girls. They were on a roll.

When asked what kind of professionals they did not want as their husbands, the girls didn’t want a doctor (he’d get emergency calls exactly when taking her out to dinner), no one from BPOs /call centers (for obvious reasons), no lawyer (she was a lawyer herself, that’s why), no policemen (she hates them) no IT people/ engineers (they are married to their jobs, she said). The compeer had the sense to remark that she’d most like marry a clerk. Then there was this girl (you know the occasional weirdo). She wanted a husband with a good job. So far so good. But in addition to that, she wanted him to own a business too. The reason? Well after he comes back from work in the evenings and on the weekends he should work on his business. That is, in the morning work for some company and then work on his business during his free time. She doesn’t want a family or what? I mean if he works during all time he’s got, he’s gonna be dog tired when he returns home and he won’t even have any energy in bed. I mean, the bed is the whole point of coming home at the end of the day. I dunno what that girl had in mind. I’d very much like to know if any one marries her. Some guys are damn desperate (a fact). There might be marriage in her near future.

Anyways while I was watching this program with my mum, there came the ring of the calling bell. A neighbor and her daughter had come to get my mother’s signature (she’s a gazetted officer). Her daughter had just finished 10^th std and was going to take up typewriting. She was a bright student as I knew her. She changed because of her father. After 23 years of marriage, her father filed for divorce. Why? He apparently found the woman of his dreams in a divorcee working in his office. It wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t for the fact that this guy (the father) locked up all his belongings in a room that had the phone, tv and the comp. He lives with that divorcee, never comes home, he doesn’t give his wife any money (she’s a house wife) and doesn’t want the custody of his kids. His daughter has to take up typewriting now cause they can’t pay the school fees. Her brother who is a B.E 1^st year student can’t eat in the mess cause he hasn’t paid his mess fee, can’t stay in the hostel cause he hasn’t paid his hostel fee, couldn’t write exams cause he hadn’t paid the fee. Then we neighbors pitched in, scrapped together some decent amount, paid the kids college and school fees (we convinced the mother to send her to school). Then we called that brute of a father to tell him of his family woes, he said he didn’t care. He has now agreed to pay Rs.11000 a month when the neighbors threatened legal action. The mother came to my home that day with her daughter and stood sobbing. What was she, a middle aged house wife, to do to support her children? The girl stood there looking too worn out to even cry. I didn’t know what to do. Sure, I could say I was sorry but that wouldn’t help them in any practical sense. Then I did the only thing I could do under the circumstances: I gave the girl the money that I had got through the R.D system at school. It was only Rs.1520 but then I’d spend my pocket money the previous month. I wish I hadn’t though. Those people need all the help they can get. Playing cricket here, near home, has languished now cause that girl was one big hitter and she rarely steps out these days.