The Way The Cookie Crumbles

I actually felt like putting a bullet through their heads. The red tape doesn’t get any worse than this. This Monday I’d gone to MMC to get an application for MBBS/BDS 2008-09. Things that pissed me off in order:

Madras Medical College, Monday:

I arrived with my dad at 9.40am. The office for handing out the applications will open at 10, so it was my mistake landing there 20 mins early. I didn’t appreciate being woken up at 7 to get an application given that I’d gone to bed only at 2. So let’s say that I wasn’t in the best of moods to be kept waiting. It was damn boring there. I took a look at the notice board. I had my first bit of fun there. I guess the results for the term exams had just come out. I smirked as I looked at the subjects- pathology, biochemistry, and physiology. I knew what the results would be. Everyone would’ve crapped through in pathology. It was damn easy. A few would’ve lost it in biochem- an impossible subject unless you had a head for mugging up and a knack for chemistry. Physiology was an out of this world subject. You’ll only pass if a) you genuinely liked the subject b) you had a photographic memory c) you had the will power to keep reading after the first few lines. I was not disappointed- most failed in physio. I wanted to come back later and look up the scores for anatomy and pharmacology. The thought that I could be one of them sobered me up. The time was just 9.55. I was an idiot to think that in 5 mins the office would open. By 10.10, I had been looking at the guys spilling out of the classes to keep me busy, I decided that the procedure at MMC was the most cute guys left 1^st. then I started counting the cars parked there (I guess you can guess how nuts I was getting by this time) I had got to 87 before the office doors opened. Relieved I looked around. Seemed like the guy for handing out the apps wouldn’t be arriving for sometime. Someone had opened the doors as a matter for procedure. There was another father waiting to get an app for his son. I looked at him and my father and I felt sad that they had to be kept waiting. Four thing that are short with me: my temper, my tolerance level, my patience and my hair. So I walked up into the office (I wasn’t supposed to) and “very politely” asked the woman sitting there what time the guy to be handing out the apps was arriving. She asked me to get the hell out (I daresay I deserved it) I said no and since I was politely asking her would she politely reply because I didn’t have all day. She said (very politely) that that guy will get there whenever it pleases him and would I please get out. I smirked at her and left. That didn’t sit too well with her. I would hear her calling after me, I didn’t even look back. She should have answered me politely the 1^st time. I can go crazy when I get angry. When I got out (dad had happily missed the drama) I told him I was sick of waiting even more sick of those people in that damn office treating us as if we deserve it and asked him if he knew a killer for hire. I actually meant it, that’s how mad I’d gotten. The people gathered there started laughing. I hadn’t bothered to keep my voice down. When everyone started laughing (I daresay they were laughing at me) I could see that a bit of the pent up frustration release. I told my dad to get something to drink or at least sit in the car while I got the app. As I was classifying the cars that I had been counting (3 innovas, 11 santros, 17 altos, 21 maruti 800’s) and after glaring at every passer by, a sweeper came out to give the apps. I think that they decided to give the apps before the adults there made some noise (not likely since they had no energy left from the waiting) but I like to think that my outburst helped in some way. The sweeper didn’t know English and she wasn’t very fast. I sensed trouble. My requisition letter was in eng and I suck in tamil (my writing would give a heart attack to our CM). God. It was going to be a long day.

Another thing that irks me is that our people seem to protest everything at the drop of a hat. I actually saw a pic of a man cutting himself seeking ban on jodhaa akbar and he’s not even a historian. Then there’s this case against the release of dasavathaaram and the petitioner hadn’t even watched the movie. Whatever happened to freedom of speech, expression etc etc? My mum had gone for counseling (for super speciality) and on the first day, some people trashed the counseling center (no apparent reason) so the counseling was postponed to the next day. The next day, the same people as before staged protest, blocked traffic, found themselves a slot in the newspapers, and also at the receiving end of the police. Obviously there was no counseling that day. The next day mum went for counseling (after checking the website concerned). She stayed at the center from 8am till 11.30 pm only to be told that no super speciality seats were even on for counseling. Since when? Oh, since three days ago. No news on the website, no info at the center. The way the govt runs- f***. What good is a T.V for Christ’s sake????Then mum came home at 1am and we left the next day- only to find that there was counseling on that day- and here’s the kicker- with super speciality seats. But they had already been pledged to someone with deep pockets, I guess.

And look what I came across when reading a mag:

Four men, an accountant, an engineer, a chemist and a govt worker were bragging about how smart their dogs were. To show off, the engineer called his dog and said, “T-square, do your stuff.” T-square went over to a desk and took a paper and a pen and drew a triangle, square and a circle. Everyone agreed that it was pretty smart. But the accountant said his dog could do better. So he called his dog and said, “Slide rule, do your stuff.” Slide rule went into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into four piles of three cookies each. Everyone agreed that was smart. The chemist then called his dog and said, “Measure, do your stuff.” Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took a liter of milk, took a 250 ml glass and exactly poured 200 ml without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good. Then the three men turned to the govt worker and asked what his dog could do. The govt worker called his dog and said, “Coffee break, do your stuff.” Coffee break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, dumped on the paper, molested the other three dogs, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance repot for unsafe working conditions, put in for worker’s compensation and went home on sick leave.

And I almost forgot. There’s this woman in our school office. The students are supposed to ask her anything they want clarified. But for me, she always has a stock reply: watch T.V. the first time it happened was during my 10^th standard. When I went in and asked her when the public exam results were coming out she told me to watch T.V. as if I wouldn’t have noticed if anything had been on tv. When I went to her after the results were out to ask her about the mark sheets, she told me to watch tv. As if the cable operator knew when my school was going to give out the mark sheets. Another thing that irritates me is that she’ll never look at you when she’s answering your doubts. She’ll be busy doing something at her desk and she’ll answer you as if you couldn’t be done soon enough. If you ask her more than one question, she’ll look at you as if you are some stripper at a monastery. She hands out the same treatment to the parents too. Unless you are downright rude to her, she won’t even bother to look at you. And this time when I went to school to enquire when the results would be coming out (I knew the answer already but dad insisted I ask) she gave me her stock reply: watch tv. Unfortunately, this time, I lost it. I asked her which channel I had to watch. She looked at me for the first time I think. I was standing before her looking arrogant and angry and it set her off. She gave me a look of ill-will and another of her stock replies: ask the principal.